I can’t believe I’m seven challenges down, having raised just under £400 already! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me and donated so far. I really couldn’t be doing any of this without you all. You all know who you are, so thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I’m now four months into this whole 35 Before 35 challenges project. I’m going to be completely honest and say that I’ve already started to feel very overwhelmed and stressed at times. This is the total opposite of what I wanted when I set out on this journey (there you go, I’ve said that dreaded word again!) I think I’m just putting too much pressure on myself as I want to do my absolute best throughout the 20 months of challenges in order to raise as much money as I possibly can for both Leeds Mind and Yorkshire Cancer Research.

I’ve quickly realised though that when I start feeling like this, I just need to remember why I started this in the first place. Yes, I started this to become fitter and stronger but I also wanted, no sorry, NEEDED to improve my mental health. The only way I know how to do this is through exercise.

I personally haven’t had crippling depression, but I have been suffering over the last few years. I’ve actually just finished a CBT course, which felt like a massive step. I’ve learnt some really good techniques around controlling worry, anxiety and negative thoughts. It’s going to take time but hopefully these techniques will become second nature. I’m also on a waiting list for help with my non-existent self esteem and confidence. For as long as I can remember, people have been telling me to have/or I should have more confidence in myself. However, we know it’s not as easy as that. I’ve said that I’ve not had crippling depression, but I think it’s fair to say that I have had and still have crippling self doubt and confidence issues. I’m hoping that with a bit more help, I’ll be able to learn even more techniques and these will help to keep the feelings of worthlessness and never feeling good enough at anything I do, at bay.

Again, taking the step to go on a CBT course wasn’t easy. It’s taken a few people close to me to realise that I haven’t been happy/myself for a while. Before this, I would have put my behaviour down to feeling lazy, and my lack of motivation was down to being tired from marathon training (I know how much this doesn’t make sense!) I didn’t want to go out because I was busy saving, etc etc. The excuses are all there but the truth is I sometimes find that withdrawing from events and/or people is the easiest ‘out’ when I’m feeling low. But then that just makes things worse. Hello, vicious cycle!

You don’t necessarily have to be at that critical point of full on depression to have poor mental health. Many people are fully functioning so you can’t always spot the warning signs. I can imagine that there are a lot of people like me out there. This new focus of mine is definitely helping me and I want to help/show others, who are also feeling low in mood, having self worth/doubt issues and who are anxious etc. is that with a new focus, it could be the stepping stone to starting to feel better. Of course, it’s a long process and it’s definitely not as easy as it sounds but I truly believe having something else to focus on will help. I just hope that however much I raise for Leeds Mind will help many people out there just like me.

With regards to raising money for Yorkshire Cancer Research, I had a whole idea about writing a ranting “screw (although replace that word with something stronger!) cancer” blog post. But I realised there is absolutely no point in wasting my energy being angry that cancer doesn’t care who it hits while ripping families and friends apart, because what would that achieve?! So instead I want to focus of all this negative energy into something positive by raising as much money as I possibly can for the charity. Without constant donations and fundraising, they won’t be able to continue researching preventative medicine or even cures, and that’s not something that I’m comfortable with.

Since I started the 35 Before 35 challenges, some people have (very kindly) said how inspiring/inspirational I am. I would never describe myself as this but it has been a nice confidence booster and I feel very lucky to have such supportive people in my life. However, I’m not the inspirational one. The inspirational ones are the people who fight day in, day out with their mental health and cancer diagnoses, family and friends included. I know a few people who are at different stages of cancer albeit in very different situations and THEY are the truly inspirational ones. Every time I see them, they have a smile on their face and they are so strong.

I’ve rambled enough. I’m doing 35 before 35 for my friends and everyone else who is affected with poor mental health and cancer. We can fight both causes if we just do this together. Let’s help and encourage each other every day! I believe in each and every one of you. You’re all so much stronger than you know, and maybe feel at this particular moment in time.

So, next time I’m stressing about the inconsequential issues of training, logistics, fundraising events or what my next challenge is going to be, I’ll think of everyone affected and that will truly spur me on.

To show your support, please visit my fundraising page, virginmoneygiving.com/35before35

I always used to wear shorts as a kid, but as I got older, I started to hide them away. I’m just going to put it out there; I have never been a fan of my (now constantly) pasty white wobbly legs. Even over the last eight years of marathon and cycling training, I have always covered them up as I wasn’t happy. I was too concerned with what other people thought of me. “She can’t be a runner, look at her legs” etc etc. As a result, I would stupidly swelter on training runs/rides, which wasn’t fun!

Fast forward eight years to current day where we’re still, some might say enduring – me, enjoying this heat wave. The weather has been my ideal temperature (a nice 28 degrees plus, yes, even up north, can you actually believe it?!) but I just can’t cope with the heat when running. So I had a long hard look at myself, yes in the mirror for added effect and had a word with myself. Over a month later, I am still wearing my shorts on my training runs as part of my 35 before 35 challenges…wohoo! I have a definite sense of achievement, some might say even another (mini) challenge conquered?! I know the photo of me on this post isn’t in shorts, but baby steps. By the end of my 35 before 35 challenges, you will see images of me in shorts, I promise!

I still feel slightly self –conscious but when I’ve got my pod cast on, I completely zone out and just get on with the run. And do you know what, even on runs when I haven’t had headphones in, nobody has shouted or laughed at me. I’m really trying to consciously change my mind set on a few things and something as simple as deciding to wear shorts is one of them. This won’t even be an issue for the majority of you and you must be thinking, “Doesn’t she have anything else to worry about” (believe me, unfortunately my mind does, which is exhausting!) but I also know that there will be a few of you out there who feel the same way as me.

I’m not saying that I’m now cured of my leg paranoia but I’m now CHOOSING to embrace my legs and yeah, show them off, wobbly bits and all! I need to remember that although they aren’t as toned as I would like them, (and to be honest I don’t think they ever will be) they must be blooming strong to get me through 250 mile charity bike rides, five official half marathons (not including all those half marathon training runs) seven marathons and a 100km ultra! I’d rather have strong wobbly legs any day of the week and I will continue to tell myself this over the next 20 months completing the 35 before 35 challenges!

So, to anyone out there who may also dread the summer because of the fear of getting their legs out, join me and embrace them. After all, they get you from A to B. Don’t hate them, have more respect for them as they do a pretty damn good job!

Why do I do it?!

Hours and hours of training you say? Well yes, I’m not going to lie. Challenging yourself to something new will inevitably take up a lot of your time as you’ll be busy training and juggling life. As a result, you may have to endure a few sacrifices along the way. For example, running a marathon isn’t just about turning up to the start line on race day; it’s so much more than that. Although a MASSIVE cliché, it really is all about the journey, especially as you’ll be spending anywhere between 16 weeks to six months in training. You will learn a lot about yourself!

I’ve only just started on my new journey. I’m two full weeks into my 20 months worth of 35 challenges. I’m really looking forward to pushing myself physically and mentally but most importantly, I want to raise awareness and as much money as I can for Leeds Mind and Yorkshire Cancer Research along the way. If you would like to show your support for 35 Before 35, please visit my fundraising page – virginmoneygiving.com/35before35

I’m not going to lie, it’s already apparent that organising challenges, logistics, maintaining a website/social media presence and fundraising will take up a lot of my time. That’s before I’ve even started training and not to mention my full-time job. I will have to be extremely organised throughout to achieve what I’ve set myself, so I’m aware that I will also have to make some sacrifices. However, this really has become a passion of mine and I want to do everything I can to raise awareness of mental and physical health. If I need to skip a few of those pub sessions in the meantime, then so be it!

I’m not ashamed to say that I’m currently having difficulty with my mental health and I’m seeking help for this but the best way which actually improves my mental health is by training. Training not only pushes you physically, but it’s also an eye opener mentally as well. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but it’s only when you’re training that you really begin to get to know yourself on a much deeper level.

1) You learn how your body and mind work

2) You know how and when to push (past) your limits

3) You find out when to slow down and rest – months of injury are not fun. Nobody has the patience or bank balance for endless physio sessions….Believe me!

4) You learn when and how to deal with the inevitable self-doubt that will rear its ugly head at various points throughout your training plan and/or race

5) You may even develop ways of using the training as therapy sessions. Or is that just me?!

By continually documenting my journey (yep, I’ve said it again), I really hope to inspire and motivate any of you who may like the idea of challenging yourself to do something that may just be sitting outside of your comfort zone. The way I see it, fear is just your body resisting change.

Remember – you ARE capable, you ARE worthy and yes, you CAN achieve anything if you want it badly enough. Good luck!

If you haven’t already cottoned on, I may have bitten off more than I can chew here! I’m about to embark on 35 physical challenges all in aid of Leeds Mind, Yorkshire Cancer Research. Head to my charities page to find out more.

I know a LOT of the hard work is to come. Organising what challenge I’ll be doing when, how much training will have to be done, will I have the time to train? As well as organising fundraising events and keeping my website and social media accounts ticking along. However, there’s already been a MASSIVE amount of work that has taken place behind the scenes to even get to this point.

I may be the founder, face and voice of 35before35, but I couldn’t have reached this stage of the project without the help, expertise and unwavering support that I have received from my family and friends.

I CANNOT thank you all enough. Not once have I been laughed at. Each and every one of you have believed in me from the start and it’s been great to see that you’re all just as passionate and enthusiastic as I am in making this project succeed. I’ve even had a few comments along the way, saying that I’ve been inspiring them to get out there and do something that they have been thinking about for a while. This is exactly the response I’m hoping to achieve throughout the duration of the challenge…as well as raising as much money as I can for these worthy causes.

So, on to the first challenge with the support of the 35before35 team behind me. I also hope that you’ll get to meet a few of them along the way, which will be a nice change from me waffling on!

Follow me on here or over on my social media channels to keep up-to-date with how I’m getting on!

@35_Before_35